Interview: Bryan Jung of “This is Why”
In our first ever interview, we’re talking to Bryan Jung, creator of the grief website This is Why. Bryan created the site after experiencing his own loss, wanting to create a space for people to share their feelings and experiences with grief anonymously. Today he shares about this creation as well as his own story, his journey with grief, and advice for anyone who’s early in their own grief journey.
Let’s get into it!
1. Tell us a little bit about yourself.
My name is Bryan Jung. I was born and raised in a suburb near Seattle, Washington, but currently live in Denver, Colorado. I have one older brother, who is three years older, living in Los Angeles, California. My mother is still doing great, living around the Seattle area.
Growing up, I played baseball, basketball, soccer, and golf, and I still love playing any & all sports recreationally. These days, I love to play softball, volleyball, flag football, pickleball, and tennis. Golf is still my top sport today, however. It can definitely be frustrating at times, but I love the challenge and the pursuit of getting better each round.
Whether it is playing instruments, producing and performing music, or listening to all types of genres, music is a big facet of my life. My mother was a piano teacher before I was born and still teaches to this day. There is no doubt I got the music bug from her.
2. What loss or losses first started your journey with grief?
My grief journey started in 2006 when I lost my father at ten years old. However, the origin of the journey really began on November 3rd, 2004. A day I will never forget.
In November 2004, my father, who was a lawyer at the time, was winning in a court case, and the opposing lawyer knew this. On November 3rd, when my father and the opposing lawyer were supposed to appear in court together, the opposing lawyer decided to show up to my father’s office and shoot at him three times with a silenced pistol. One bullet struck my father in the head, leaving him bed-ridden in a coma. As I visited him in the hospital at nine years old, I could not talk to him. He could not move, and the first time he opened his eyes was when he heard my brother and I’s voices. It was the toughest part of my life to see him in this state, especially at such a young age. He fought to survive for 15 hard months until his death in February 2006. It was greatly saddening, but I knew that he was free of pain and in a better place.
3. What was that time like for you?
It was an incredibly difficult time not only between November 2004 and February 2006, but also the years following. I developed a pretty significant anxiety disorder that I battled up until college. However, thankfully, time was able to heal my body & mind, and I am extremely grateful it does not impact me today.
Looking back, it all felt like a blur as I was just a nine & ten year old trying to navigate this loss, then doing my best to continue having the most normal childhood I could.
It was the strong bond within my family that kept me going each and every day. My mother was, and still is, the strongest person I know. Because of her, my older brother and I never gave up. She constantly found ways to keep our heads up and provide for us. She kept pushing us each and every day, making sure we stayed on the right paths, never veering off. Together, as a family, we were able to overcome every obstacle and get to where we are today.
Additionally, the support system from friends and neighbors was truly incredible and helped us get through an unbelievably difficult time. I am constantly grateful for what everyone did for our family and I am thankful beyond words each & every day.
4. What first drew you into the grief community? Was there anything that stands out as a watershed moment in your grieving process?
As I got older, I came into a better place both mentally & emotionally and wanted badly to help others who’ve experienced loss at an early age. After college, when I would have a bit more time, I wanted to find a tangible way to help others.
During my research, I came across the United States-based Eluna organization and their nationwide Camp Erin program. I instantly knew it was something I wanted to be involved in.
I volunteered at my first Camp Erin in 2019, and my life was changed. It was such a profound experience to see and help the kids grieve in a safe, friendly environment. It was incredibly special to show them, through words and actions, that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Ever since, I have been wanting to find more opportunities to work with children who have undergone similar circumstances as myself.
5. You started your own endeavor, This is Why. Tell us a little bit about it - and what made you want to create it, and how has it changed your relationship with grief?
This Is Why is a creative platform for individuals who have lost a parent as a child or teenager. I want to provide a safe space for individuals of all ages, with the option of anonymity, to share emotions, thoughts, and experiences. In turn, we can build a community with others who’ve undergone similar circumstances. I want to highlight how past experiences have made us who we are today, spotlighting our resilience and perseverance for more positive and optimistic lives ahead.
As I am not a trained professional in the health space, I make an effort to provide a “layman’s” perspective on learnings that have helped me over the years in the hope that they can help just one person somewhere in the world. I do my best to provide as many resources as possible for others who are going, or have gone through, an early loss.
So far, This Is Why has helped open my eyes to how many incredibly strong, resilient people there are all over this world who have undergone a similar experience. It has been a profound venture so far, and I can’t wait to see where the community goes in the future.
6. What’s been most surprising to you about grief in general?
The most surprising element of grief I’ve found is the complexity of grief. There are so many layers and how it can directly, but also indirectly, affect everyday life. Emotions and phases of life ebb & flow, but it is about doing what you can to live the most fulfilling life possible.
With everything that has happened in my life, I’ve come to learn that every second and every moment cannot, and should not, be taken for granted. Anything can happen in a split second and life can instantly change course forever. I make an effort to not just go through, but conquer each and every day.
7. How do you feel you're different now from the person you were before your loss?
As I was just a young kid when I lost my father, I am significantly more mature and empathetic of others. I am also so grateful for everyone that has helped me get to where I am at today, and I try to show the same level of support to anyone I can, both strangers and those in my inner circle.
I do my best to leverage my internal strength to support everyone around me. I strive to be as vulnerable as possible to help others be more OK with their emotions and thoughts. I love to share my experiences with loss and my anxiety disorder with the hope that someone can gain a bit of strength & hope from my story and life so far.
8. What advice do you have for someone new to the grief world?
Take things slow, one day at a time. Some days will most definitely be harder than others, but no matter how bleak things may seem, I promise that things do get better over time.
Finding a great support system around you is so critical. Find peers, friends, and family who support you and make you feel good being around them. Love & empathy are contagious.
Take care of yourself. Mental health needs to be an increasing priority in this world, individually but also from a support aspect. Find hobbies and interests that you love that can give you a break from feelings of stress, overwhelm, hurt, or loneliness. Doing anything it takes to find happiness & fulfillment is so incredibly important.
Do what makes you happy. This life we have is fleeting, and you never know what can happen at any moment. Let’s make the most out of every second we have in this world.
Thanks so much to Bryan for participating! You can find out more about This is Why at the website, on social at @thisiswhylife and via Linktree.