What is a death doula?
Photo: Jacob Owens
In situations where people are approaching the end of their life, it can feel overwhelming for the individual as well as the family. There may be treatments to navigate, legacy planning to carry out, memorial arrangements to organize—the list goes on. And on top of this, they’re balancing the emotional load of confronting their own / their loved one’s mortality. At this critical and difficult time in life, death doulas can provide support.
Death doulas (also known as end-of-life doulas) are non-medical professionals trained to help people through the end-of-life / dying process. This can look different depending on the individual’s needs and the doula’s skills; it can include any number of the following:
Advanced planning for the dying person’s last wishes (helping get will & directives in order)
Memorial planning (funeral arrangements, coordinating with family)
Legacy projects / planning (helping the dying person on artifacts that will help people memorialize / remember them)
Sitting with the dying person (keeping them company, playing their favorite music, helping ease their worries)
Supporting the family or other caregivers (preparing snacks, having conversations about grief and the dying process)
Doulas are unique in that they can help foster a transition to death that honors the dying person’s autonomy and wishes in a way that is not always seen or guaranteed in a traditional medical setting. It opens up a conversation about what dying can look like—that there is room to reinvent the standard, and that there can be power and beauty in it. Clients can specify their own do’s and don’t’s in detail—people they do or don’t want to see, the type of music or scents they want present, the types of interventions they will allow, and more. While doulas work with family members as well, at the end of the day they are client advocates, working to ensure that their client has the best experience they can—whether in-home, in-hospice, or in a medical facility.
Doula support has been around for a long time, but there was a spike in popularity in 2021 with the publication of a New York Times article, which introduced the concept to many people who went on to become doulas or seek out doula support. It is still a growing industry, with a handful of top organizations offering training. Today doulas are not typically covered by insurance and are paid for by the dying individual or their family (some also offer scholarships or a sliding scale), but as the world and industry evolves, this may change.
If you are interested in working with a death doula, there are directories available online (a well-known organization is INELDA) or you can search in your area. There are also several programs for becoming a doula available online. If you have any questions, reach out in the comments!
Have you ever worked with a death doula? What was your experience?
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