Holiday traditions after loss

From our gray Seattle home, my fiancé and I spent the morning plotting a day full of festive activities for our upcoming Christmas with my family. We exchanged ideas aloud, each one more ridiculous than the next, and I laughed while alternating between quick sips of coffee and jotting down half-serious notes. It had been his idea months back, his response to my misty-eyed recollection of Christmas mornings growing up with my dad, how it was the one time of year he’d come up for air and be present, calm.