emily wisser 7/15/21 emily wisser 7/15/21

3 Therapy Apps

Thanks to advances in technology, therapy is a lot more accessible these days, so if you can’t get to an in-person therapist or if you prefer connecting with one remotely, there are options. We’ve rounded up a few of the top therapy apps and their costs below.

Individual therapy can be a really helpful tool during the grief process. Having an objective and professional point of view can provide perspective while sorting through all the different feelings that come along with grief. Thanks to advances in technology, therapy is a lot more accessible these days, so if you can’t get to an in-person therapist or if you prefer connecting with one remotely, there are options. We’ve rounded up a few of the top therapy apps and their costs below. If you’ve tried any of the apps or if you have other favorites, feel free to respond in the comments.

Please note that therapists are generally not able to diagnose or prescribe over the platform.

Talkspace
Talkspace has a variety of different plans available based on the type of therapy you’re looking for. There are options for live video therapy, text messaging with your therapist, and audio. You get to choose your therapist from a hand-narrowed list, all with the highest clinical license in their state of practice, plus 3+ years of clinical experience. The cost ranges from $65-$99 a week, billed monthly (depending on the plan you choose). Talkspace is in network through EAP and health insurers, so be sure to check with your insurance company to see if you’re covered or if your employer offers the platform as an employee benefit.

BetterHelp
On BetterHelp, users are matched with an experienced therapist (3+ years) after taking a questionnaire, and you can do live video sessions, phone sessions, texting, or live chats with the assigned counselor. Users can choose to remain anonymous if they prefer to preserve their privacy. BetterHelp does not work with insurance companies or employers, but there are flexible cost packages ranging from $40-$70 billed weekly, and you can cancel your payment at any time.

Larkr
Larkr offers video talk therapy. The app matches you with a therapist based on the info you provide, but you can choose whichever time zone works best for your schedule. In between video sessions you can contact your therapist in the app, and there are also other individual tools for mood tracking and journaling. The cost is $85 a session, no subscription or commitment. For cooperating insurance, you can submit to your insurance company for reimbursement.

emily wisser 1/29/20 emily wisser 1/29/20

How to find a therapist

Talk therapy can be an incredibly helpful experience when navigating grief. A trained professional can listen to your thoughts and feelings, and they can help provide context for your experience as well as advise you on what to do next. Therapists can help with many different areas, from terminal illness to grief and loss to anxiety. Many therapists now offer remote options as well as in-person. We did a whole post on therapy apps as well, which you can check out here.

Here are steps to consider when looking for a therapist:

Determine your budget

If you are like most people who live in the US, there are cost implications to be aware of when considering therapy. Costs can range based on several factors including location, frequency, and insurance coverage. The good news is that many insurance providers cover therapy if it’s in-network or charge a co-pay cost, which could be minimal depending on your insurance. Most of this information can be determined by contacting your insurance company or looking at your benefits website—some even include a search for in-network providers. If you don’t have insurance or prefer not to use it, you can also pay out-of-pocket. It’s not uncommon for out-of-pocket therapy costs to be $100+ per session. If weekly isn’t in your budget, consider working with your therapist to find a schedule that will.

Also note that some therapists offer a sliding scale for payment - this is something to ask about in preliminary conversations. And if these options are all cost prohibitive, therapy apps can be another option (some accept insurance) as well as free or reduced-cost therapy through HRSA.

Search for therapists

The next step is to actually find a few options for therapists to contact. A great starting point is Psychology Today’s therapist finder, where you can search by location and filter or search by specialty. You’ll want to look for someone with grief experience to get the most relevant training. If you’re starting with a search through an insurance provider, specialties and experience are usually listed, but you may have to go to the therapist’s website to learn more. Most of these search engines will also show whether the therapist is taking new clients.

Learn as much as you can about your potential options to help narrow it down. Read bios and review credentials to get a better sense of their experience and approach. Once you’ve found a few that resonate with you, you can reach out using their contact information. Let them know you’re interested in therapy as a new patient, and they should be able to take it from there.

Assess if they're a good fit for you

A good thing to know going in is that not every therapist will be a good fit. This is why it’s also helpful to have a few options narrowed down before contacting—in case one just doesn’t feel right. The relationship you have with your therapist will be an important one, where you should feel a sense of trust, openness, and non-judgment. Many therapists recommend a preliminary phone call or session to get a sense of whether it’s a fit for you both before committing to a longer arrangement, but this is also something you can request (note that this may have an associated cost). Feel free to ask them questions about their approach, what they look for in clients, their views on any topics that are important to you (e.g. religion, medication, etc.). Take note of how you feel talking to them. You may be nervous if it’s your first time, but do you feel respected? Heard? As much as you can, try to go with your gut.

get on a schedule

Once you’ve found a therapist and confirmed their fit, the typical next step is scheduling. You can work with the therapist to determine frequency, day and time, and iron out other details. There may be some paperwork involved and if you’re using an insurance provider you will need to provide your insurance information. Also take note of their policies so you’re aware (information-sharing, cancellation fees, holidays). Once you’ve started seeing your therapist regularly, you’ll get a better feel for their style. The first few sessions may feel awkward. You’ll often be asked to provide lots of background information early on so they can better understand how to support you. You can decide how much you want to share. The therapist may or may not take notes, and they may ask some follow-up questions as you go along.

evaluate over time

After you’ve been seeing your therapist regularly, you’ll have a better idea of fit and how much therapy is helping you overall. It’s not uncommon for it to take multiple sessions for therapy to feel more comfortable and helpful, and it’s good to have realistic expectations going in. Your therapist won’t be able to solve all of your problems, but they should be able to help you feel less alone, provide strategies for coping with the big emotions, and offer perspective on your thoughts in a way that helps you process.

As time goes on, you will have a better sense of your therapy needs. You may find that you want to increase or decrease the frequency of sessions. You may want to see if your therapist offers longer sessions. You may even get to a point where you feel okay without therapy — or where it’s not the right fit for your life anymore. On the other hand, you may find that things aren’t flowing well and sessions aren’t feeling as helpful. In any of these situations, it’s best to speak with your therapist and let them know what you’re thinking. At the end of the day, therapy should be a helpful tool for you - and if you find that isn’t the case for whatever reason, it’s okay to change things up.

emily wisser 1/20/20 emily wisser 1/20/20

5 Books on Grief

Five books that explore grief and loss.

Reading can be a helpful way to process grief, whether it’s through narratives of others who’ve gone through something similar or how-to’s that unpack all the big feelings of grief.

Here are five books that may help in your grief. What books have helped you process? Let me know in the comments below.

1. Tiny Beautiful Things

By Cheryl Strayed, On Amazon

I’ve mentioned this one before in my Personal Story post, but this book has by far had the greatest impact on my understanding of grief. It’s a collection of advice columns written by Cheryl Strayed who, at the time, went by the alias Sugar. Her advice is poignant, at times even poetic. She’s firm without being harsh, each response crafted with empathy and wisdom from her years of experience dealing with grief and trauma. Just know that not every column is about grief, but the ones that are have incredible insight. I recommend starting with The Black Arc of It, The Obliterated Place, and Tiny Beautiful Things.

2. Modern Loss

By Rebecca Soffer and Gabrielle Birkner, On Amazon

I had the privilege of hearing these two wonderful authors speak at an event in Seattle years back. Each of them had lost parents, and the experiences they shared were sad and beautiful and at times even funny. This book, as filled with personality as the authors themselves, features little illustrations and hard truths and written contributions from guests to show a wide array of experiences. Consider this your beginner’s guide to grief.

3. It’s Okay to Laugh (Crying is Cool Too)

By Nora McInerny Purmort, On Amazon

The book description puts it best when it says “This book is for people who have been through some shit.” In her book, Nora (who is from my hometown) talks about her experience losing her husband Aaron to brain cancer after only having a few years together, and how they found joy even in the depths of their grief. Aaron was a well-known designer in the Minneapolis community and was only 35 when he died, leaving behind a memorable obituary that was a testament to his personality, as well as a legacy that Nora carries on to this day. Her book is honest and raw, but it’s also funny and conversational. A must for young widows.

4. Radical Compassion

By Tara Brach, On Amazon

Tara Brach is a clinical psychologist and mindfulness meditation teacher whose work I was first introduced to on a meditation retreat. Her book “Radical Acceptance” is a great read for anyone interested in learning about mindfulness and self-acceptance, and her long awaited follow-up, Radical Compassion, applies some of the same concepts to working through grief and trauma. She features her own stories and stories from her meditation students, and her writing (like her meditation audio recordings) is a mixture of calm, insightful, and loving.

5. Wild