The power of rest

Often in our busy world, there is pressure to go nonstop. We pack our schedules, we over-commit, we power through. In a culture that values productivity, taking a break can sometimes feel bad - even wrong - but the truth is that prioritizing rest is vital to our wellbeing.

Have you ever heard the phrase “rest and digest”? This phrase is used to describe the state when the parasympathetic nervous system is engaged. It’s the state when we are physically calm - our stress hormones (cortisol) are reduced, our heart rate is normal, our digestion is stabilized. It’s the opposite of the sympathetic nervous system, which we commonly know as the feeling of fight or flight, a heightened state brought on with stress. We want to spend as much time as we can in the Rest & Digest state, but it can be a challenge in our modern world. Stress can come in many different forms too - the Holmes-Rahe Stress Inventory includes a range of common life stressors that you might not even realize are stressful, from getting a parking ticket to getting a promotion to vacation. It’s important to acknowledge the many small stressors in our daily lives because they can all contribute to a constant underlying state of unrest.

Unsurprisingly, loss has a high stress score on the Holmes-Rahe scale. Grief not only brings about sadness but it also comes with stress. Rest can feel extra-challenging for some in grief because it’s often the time when feelings emerge, and that can feel overwhelming. We may use busyness to avoid the big feelings, but in doing so we are also avoiding an opportunity for our bodies to come down from the cortisol rush, which can leave us feeling more exhausted and emotionally bottled. This can sometimes lead to an even bigger crash later.

Of course, coping through busyness and avoidance is not altogether unhealthy. Grief is hard. Sometimes we just want to push the hard feelings away, and that’s okay. But because grief is hard, it’s important to also prioritize taking care of yourself, and rest is a critical part of that equation.

Rest can come in many forms. It can be as simple as a ten-minute break to do some deep breathing or stretching. It can be sipping coffee quietly alone or jotting a few notes in a journal. It can be taking a bath or a nap. In moments of rest, think about slowing down your breath and feeling your feet on the ground. Relax your shoulders. Put your hand on your heart and feel it beating. Even for a few moments, slow down.

You are doing the hardest work.